Michael Jackson

When I first heard about Michael Jackson's death, I didn't feel anything. I was more moved by the passing of Billy Mays a couple days later. I guess I thought of MJ as kind of a weirdo; an eccentric personality more than a person. I caught some of his memorial service on TV at Jace's speech therapy in the waiting room today.

A day or two after MJ died, I was talking to my husband about how sad it was to me that he had risen to high to fame and yet was so unhappy. He obviously had self-image issues, amid a lot of other issues including pain medication addiction. I felt so sad that his life never turned back around; he never worked it all out. I wanted a happy ending like in your typical, satisfying, American movie. His life seemed to stop mid-story, and it left me with an empty, let-down feeling like the power went out at the movie theater at the height of the conflict of the film. You get your refund and go on with life but it's so abrupt, like stepping off a curb that was higher than you anticipated.

When a famous person dies, we all tend to mourn. I don't know why this is. I wasn't a huge fan of Michael Jackson at any point in my life. I wasn't alive when he was the adorable little boy in the Jackson 5. For about half of my life, he had been a very strange person to me, and hadn't produced much music.

I cried for like 3 days when the Crocodile Hunter died. I know why on that one. I felt so bad for his wife and kids. Steve Erwin was such a huge, larger-than-life personality... I just couldn't imagine anyone ever being able to even begin to fill the hole in their lives that he left when he died. Sudden, tragic, bizarre death. I was truly sad, not for my loss, but for his family's loss.

For Michael Jackson, I am really sad for him and for his family. Like I said, I really wish MJ would have lived to resolve his issues and find peace in the Lord, Jesus Christ. For his family, his brothers and sisters, and more than anything for his children who have no mother. 11 year old Paris, talking about how wonderful of a father he was to her... I just know nothing will be able to replace him to her. She was clearly Daddy's girl. And then seeing Prince Michael II clutching a Michael Jackson doll on stage. Broke my heart.

It broke my heart and brought to the surface my own greatest fears: That I will die before my children are grown. Since Tim is not a believer, I think about what my early death would mean to my kids. I stay home and home school them, they don't go to church... all the things that would change in their lives if I were gone. I pray constantly that God will allow me to live long enough to raise them. I cherish every moment with them and every opportunity I have to lead them to a relationship with Jesus so their sins may be forgiven when they are morally mature.

I don't know if Michael Jackson was a believer. I don't know that for sure about anyone but myself, but I pray that the glory of God will shine through this tradegty and that many souls will be saved as a result. I pray for comfort for the Jackson family and especially the kids. May they be blessed and come to a full knowledge of Jesus Christ. Amen.