Moving.

Well, we're moving. It seems to be hitting me one little bit at a time. First, before Tim applied for the position, he asked if I would be ok with moving. I told him I would. It is a great opportunity for him, and the people in his company obviously liked him for the job, "...so go ahead and apply and see what happens.", I said.

No big surprise, he got the job! Which is wonderful! I'm going to be sad about moving away from my family, but I've never really felt anchored to this place for any reason besides them being here. I don't know why, today, I feel a sense of loss. I've had a couple of weeks to adjust to the idea, and to prepare for the move, but today, first thing, I got a call back from a realtor about a townhome I had left a message about. For some reason, it became a little more real to me that we're moving.

I really don't know why I care. I honestly don't love the area we live in now. I think the Kansas City metro area is going to be a good place to live, and I think I will enjoy it. There are lots of things to do (which are desperately lacking in Wichita, unless you like bars), there are trees and clear water, out-door recreation, museums, all kinds of things that I have been longing for. I think it is just the fear of the unknown. And I know that when we get up there, I won't have a support system. I'll be away from my mom and sister for the first time in my life.

Admittedly, the situation, being what it is, couldn't be much better. We will only be about 3 hours away, and will have regularly scheduled business trips back to Wichita, which the kids and I are welcome and able to tag along on. I will still get to see my family every month-ish. Honestly, we don't really spend too much time visiting in person right now. My sister is about 15 minutes away, and my mom is about 50 minutes. I think I make social visits to see them no more than 2 times a month. I see my sister about once a week when I watch my nieces, but we mostly talk on the phone or connect online. Same with mom. I really think it's just fear getting to me, not rational things that I will actually miss.

I've been pretty excited and optimistic about the move, aside from the occasional moment of sadness about my family or panic about finding a place to live. I also will probably have to get rid of my birds, or leave them with my mom until we buy a house. Apparently, it's pretty customary to charge multi-hundred dollar, non-refundable pet deposits for tiny, caged birds in the Kansas City metro. We just can't and won't pay that much money. It's more than we paid for both birds and cages and food and toys, combined. It would be different if it were refundable, but apparently, they use it to "sanitize" the place after you move your pet out. I wonder what that looks like.

We're soon making a trip up to KC for an afternoon of looking at rentals in the burbs. I have a townhome community in mind, but they only have 2 units coming available in the next 2 months, and it's first come first served. Hoping they are still available Friday. We were thinking of living in another town, but I'm starting to think it is just too much driving for Tim. I'd like him to be close to his home office, especially since he will have to drive quite a bit to visit the other regional campuses.

It was a little discouraging to call up and figure out what our utilities will be up there. We live in an apartment that pays trash, sewer and water for us, so we aren't used to those. Plus, it is all electric, so places with additional gas bills add one more bill we don't currently pay. It all adds up. I called the utilities and city works about one property and we would average $140 in additional bills per month that we don't pay now. That's gas, water, sewer, and trash. Probably doesn't sound like much, but to us, it's like tacking on an extra $140 to our rent. That is a lot to us.

I know it will all be ok. I think God has really aligned things for this to take place, so I'm not really worried, but I do have moments of panic. How will we be able to do this? Will it all work out? Will we ever be able to buy a house in the area up there that I like? *sigh* I just have to trust Him. If He leads you to it, He will lead you through it, right? I'm doing the best I can, and waiting expectantly for everything to fall into place miraculously.