If I hadn't been a mother

I can't sleep, so I thought I would try to blog some of the thoughts that are bouncing around in my head instead of lying awake coughing in bed.

If I hadn't been a mother, I might have been an anthropologist, or an archeologist or some other type of -ologist. I have a thirst for learning. I love to study new things, learn new skills, and fill my head with mostly-useless knowledge.

I think I get that from my dad. He spent most of my childhood and adolescence dragging me around to various historical sites in California and surrounding areas, and sharing a wealth of mostly-useless, however interesting factoids about the world around us. My dad has a love for learning.

My mom inherited a propensity for research from her mother; I inherited it from her. Combine the love of mostly-useless facts with a natural tendency to obsessively research, and you get someone like me. I am fascinated with the world around me, the people around me, the nature of things on a whole.

Any time I plan to make a major purchase, I research obsessively until I have narrowed it down to the "best" apparent choice, settle on that and then research until I find the best possible place to buy it, considering price, time, distance, customer service, return policy, warranties, etc. I can't imagine how anyone buys a camera or clothes dryer or (God forbid) car, without going through this process. Seriously.

So I probably would have eventually settled into a career in which on-going research and discovery were required... if I hadn't been a mother.

I grew up not wanting children. I loved animals and had planned on just having lots of pets, but I married the world's most allergic man, so anything with fur is out of the question. A year and a half later I had my son, and then 11 months after that, my daughter. I went to school for a year and even went back to work as an intern for a short time, but I couldn't leave my children. We can survive on Tim's income alone, and nothing I can buy is more important to me than being here to raise my children, myself.

I never expected to be this way. I never thought I would be a stay-at-home mom, much less a homeschooling one. I hated staying home at first, and it has been hard over the years, especially because there were a couple years in which I didn't have a car while Tim was at work. God has richly blessed me with the ability to stay home and teach my children, and I take every day as a gift from His hands. I know that no career, for me, would ever be as important.

I will probably never become an anthropologist or archeologist. I am a mother, a wife, a keeper at home, and a teacher to my children. I hope I can pass on my love of learning to my children, and I pray that they use it to learn to hear and know the Lord's voice, and to go where He directs them.